We all want the perfect life with our partners and children, but sometimes that just isn’t the case. While you might work as hard as you can on a marriage, sometimes divorce is the only option. If this is the case, it can have a profound effect on all involved. This is particularly the case if you have children and therefore you want to make it as easy on them as you can. No matter the age of your kids, whether they are preschoolers, children or teens, it can affect them in different ways. If you are worried about the impact divorce has on your children and want to lessen this, we have put together some top tips to make divorce easier on them.
Sit and talk to them together, providing a united front
When you are getting divorced, you need your children to know that it’s not because of anything they have done. Many children can blame themselves or feel they could have done something to prevent your divorce. Sit them down and adapt the way you tell them based on their age, inviting them to ask any questions and let you know how they are feeling. Provide as much of a united front as you can and they will feel a lot more secure and less scared about the future.
Sort out living and visiting arrangements as fairly as possible
When you get a divorce, the tricky bit is often what will happen with the children and where they live. Try to sort this out amicably, deciding whether they should live with one of you during the week and the other at weekends, whether they split it half and half, or if they live with just one parent. Think about the practical elements as well as asking the children what they would like. If you can’t decide, you might need a mediation session so be sure to look up how long does mediation take and sort it out this way.
Ensure they know they are loved
When you are going through a divorce, it’s important to keep reiterating to your children how loved they are and that you are both there for them. Ensure you make plenty of time for them and don’t get them embroiled in any rows you might be having. It’s important you don’t bad mouth your partner to them (no matter their age) and try to make a positive spin on it. You could say about them getting two birthdays and two Christmases and have them thinking of how they’ll decorate their room at the other parent’s house.
These are just a few things you can do that can make divorce easier for children. When it comes to splitting up a family, it’s never easy, but doing what you can to improve the process can make it a little less painful for all involved. Have you gone through a divorce? If so, what are some top tips you found that made it easier on children? Let us know in the comments below, we’d love to hear from you.